Apostate

“Hey how you doing? Where’s your head thingy at though?”

The question came from one of my neighbors. I ran into her last week in the elevator. I paused before answering her. The question she posed was one that I’d heard often in the last month. Though I stopped making salat consistently in the first week of November and began to lean toward apostasy at that time, I didn’t take off my hijab until Thanksgiving. Since people had no idea that I had stopped praying, taking off my hijab was the only indication that something was amiss.

I knew that I was going to leave Islam by the second week in November. But when people asked about my hijab, I still found it hard to tell them. I’d say I was “taking a break” from practicing. When my neighbor asked about my hijab this is exactly what I told her. But it was a lie and I knew this before the words even escaped my mouth. I’m not taking a break. I’m not coming back to Islam, or even Christianity for that matter. I am done with organized religion completely.

I realize that my sudden about face is shocking to most people around me. So just as I explained my conversion to Islam, I also intend to explain why I walked away from it. I only ask for patience. I was Muslim for roughly seven months. But my life before that was dominated by Christianity. As a result it’s impossible for me to explain my journey without discussing my experience in both faiths. So please stay tuned, there is much more to come!

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