Happy New Years to all! Now let’s move along to the latest installment of my adventures in apostasy.:)
When people learned that I decided to leave Islam, the first thing they would bring up was the akhira-the afterlife. “But sister what of the afterlife? Don’t you fear the punishment of Allah? If you leave Islam you will lose Jannah!” What makes this funny to me is that everyone that said this to me was a female. Given the picture of paradise that is painted in the Quran and Hadiths, I don’t understand why any sane woman would want to go there.
When I first converted to Islam, I thought that Islam’s version of heaven wouldn’t be much different from Christianity’s. However once I began to look into the subject, I saw just how wrong my assumption was.
It started innocently enough. I was up one night, researching Islam online. Using Google, I came across a site with a fairly innocuous name: IslamReview.com. I browsed the site and quickly figured out that it was not run by Muslims. On the contrary, it had a strong anti-Islam agenda. An article on Jannah in particular caught my eye. By the time I finished it I was irate. My heart rate was elevated. I told myself that the claims in the article were so over the top that they simply couldn’t be true. It was just another example of “Islamophobia”, a pathetic attempt to slander my perfect religion. There was no way such ideas could be in the Quran or Hadiths. I was so sure of this that I decided to research all the references myself. I just knew that the author was lying.
Imagine my surprise when I found out the author of the article was not lying. The references to fair-skinned, full-breasted houris were clearly there. I thought of my life as a Muslim woman in this life. I thought of all that I was supposed to sacrifice for the sake of my deen and my Ummah. I was to focus on the family. I was supposed to make sure my husband was always happy and pleased with me. I couldn’t enjoy a glass of red wine with dinner. I couldn’t go salsa dancing with my friends. I was supposed to follow an endless list of rules and regulations.
And what was my eternal reward for all these sacrifices? I would get the privilege of being the bottom bitch in my husband’s stable of big-boobied white women and miraculously become a virgin again after each sexual encounter. “Oh HELL NAW,” I said to myself,“this is NOT what’s up!” Jannah seemed to be designed to meet the yearnings of primitive desert Arabs. There was nothing divine or inspired in the portrayal of Jannah. I decided that if Jannah was what the afterlife was like for believers, I had no desire to go there.