Category Archives: Sexuality

She Can’t Win: On Black Women’s Reproductive Choices and Sexuality

*Originally published at Palava Sauce, written by me* She can’t win. If she’s a virgin, practices celibacy or makes a man wait a set amount of time to have sex with her, she’s accused of being a stuck-up, uptight prude. If she’s sexually active and comfortable expressing her sexual desires and wants, she’s branded a […]

“Let’s Talk About Sex”: Sexuality, Reproductive Freedom and Empowerment

Let’s talk about sex, baby Let’s talk about you and me Let’s talk about all the good things And the bad things that may be… As I was heading into the Sixth grade Salt-n-Pepa dropped the song “Let’s Talk About Sex”. I’d adored the all girl group ever since I saw the video for “Push […]

On Heaven’s Selective Silence

“Gods always behave like the people who make them”-Zora Neale Hurtson On June 26th, 2013 the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act. While GLBT Americans and their allies across the country welcomed the decision, others were quite displeased. The angry and caustic remarks in the wake of the decision didn’t surprise me. […]

The Sacred and The Profane: ‘Sexual Relations’

As stated in previous entries, I was raised in a conservative Baptist family that believed in the “abstinence-only” approach regarding sex education. All of my knowledge regarding the actual facts of human reproduction and sexuality came to me via my secular public schools, and to this day I’m grateful that I grew up in a […]

The Sacred and The Profane: Church Girls and ‘Convertibles’

You want a freaky woman? Go to the church. Church girls are the FREAKIEST!’ It was a saying repeated by the good ole boys inside of the church and the non believers outside alike. Though some may take umbrage to this saying, in my experience there is certainly a grain of truth to it. To come […]

The Sacred and The Profane: Three Letter Words, Part II

“You’re having sex, I KNOW YOU ARE! TELL ME THE TRUTH!” I clenched my fists tighter and sucked my teeth, inhaling deeply as I looked out of the window of the passenger seat of my aunts’ car. Damn it, I thought to myself, do we really have to go through this again?  I was sixteen years old […]

The Sacred and The Profane: Three Letter Words, Part I

“I’m starting to believe, Something’s wrong with me, ‘Cause everyday, every night, every hour, every minute… I’m thinkin’ ’bout it I can be at my job, in my car, up in church and when I try to pray it off, It won’t work…” -‘Three-Letter Word, by Jamie Foxx SEX. Today I can say it without associating […]

The Sacred and The Profane: The Miseducation of The Young Female

Like many girls before me, I was unnerved by puberty. I needed someone to talk with me and not at me. I needed someone to show me how to navigate this unfamiliar territory. And had my Mother been herself, had she been the woman that she was when I was young child, I’m confident that […]